


Never Heard Myself

by ThePendragonQueen



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Deaf AU, Fluff, Langst, deaf lance, hunk and pidge know thats it, klance, lance is deaf but the team doesn't know
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:22:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25352371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePendragonQueen/pseuds/ThePendragonQueen
Summary: Not being able to hear is normal for Lance, he's always been in this situation, ever since he was born. And he has worked harder than anyone could ever know his entire life to be seen as normal. Which is why most people don't know Lance is deaf, not even his own teammates. And quite frankly he'd like to keep it that way or he risks being pitied and he can't stand that.
Relationships: Keith & Lance (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 166





	1. Vibrations Through the Floor

**Author's Note:**

> I think this will be three chapters long. I only have two written out right now but I believe I only ever wanted one more after the second one. We'll see for sure though. Maybe four who knows.

Lance had never heard the birds chirping or the slow hum of an engine or even his moms voice. But to Lance he wasn’t missing out since he had nothing to relate it to. He found it normal because, for him, it was.

The doctors had told his mom that he would never lead a normal life. That his deafness would impair him severely. Thankfully, Lance’s mom refused to take that as answer. She taught him everything. Together they learned sign language so that Lance could communicate with people. Eventually, Lance realized that not everyone understood sign language so he taught himself how to read lips.

When he was little he once asked his mom how to talk like everyone else and with that, Lance learned how to communicate with others without sign language. It was hard but he figured it out.

They say when you loose a sense all the others become enhanced but Lance wouldn’t be able to tell you. He had always been able to see like a hawk and have good aim, he had always been able to feel the vibrations of feet through the ground, he didn’t understand how others couldn’t.

Thanks to his mom Lance could function almost as if he weren’t deaf. Almost. There were still problems he had. Sometimes he didn’t know people were talking to him if they were behind him or called out to him. People often mistook that as him ignoring them, but he wasn’t. And then there came the problem on new words. If someone said a word he had never learned he was thrown off. And trying to learn the new words were even more difficult. Understanding how to pronounce the syllables proved difficult at times. He would stumble or pronounce it wrong which caused people to often peg him as “dumb” or “unintelligent”. He had gotten used to it.

Quickly, he learned that he could pass off as simply being dumb and never actually had to tell anyone he was deaf. Sure, some people found out but for the most part it stayed with himself.

Hunk, being close friends with Lance all their lives, knew of Lances disability. He had been one of the few to know and constantly helped Lance out when necessary. Then they both decided to go to the Galaxy Garrison together.

Once he went to the Galaxy Garrison things proved to be a little trickier. He hadn’t bothered telling Iverson or anyone that he was deaf or he would have never been admitted. So he kept it to himself.

It became a challenge when Lance realized he had to use a communicator through his helmet to talk with Hunk and Pidge. He couldn’t hear a thing rendering the com useless for him but Pidge had no idea which resulted in her becoming very annoyed with Lance during their first flight simulation. She assumed he was ignoring her because Lance didn’t want her on the team.

Obviously, that wasn’t the case but Pidge didn’t know that. So later that day Hunk and Lance let her in on their secret and Pidge, with her amazing technology skills, managed to set up the helmet to have ‘subtitles’. Every time someone spoke it popped up on the screen of his helmet.

No one ever knew that Pidge had done this and when they all left Earth to fight in Voltron, Pidge had done the same thing. Once again, no one was the wiser.

Now Lance was signing to Hunk who had learned to sign years ago for Lance when he got tired of reading lips. They were talking about home and how much they missed their families.

A com popped up on the screen of Lances helmet that had been tossed to the side next to him. He quickly grabbed it and threw it on to read. It had been Pidge asking Hunk to go help her out with some sort of machine.

“What is it?” Hunk signed.

“Pidge needs your help,” Lance signed back. Hunk smiled and waved goodbye and head out the door of Lance’s room.

Lance sat on his bed for a second wondering what he should do. After some debate he decided to go out and see what was going on around the castle and if anyone could use help.

As he stepped out of the room and headed toward the bridge. He felt light vibrations come from behind but before he could turn to see who it was a rover slammed into his back causing him to topple over.

Lance cursed as he hit the ground hard. He had always hated those rovers. They flew through the air and made no vibrations for Lance to feel; he never knew when one was coming.

A red blade sliced above Lances head, hitting the drone but just barely missing him. Lance looked back at Keith who had hacked the drone in half.

“What the hell?” Keith yelled at Lance with an angry look on his face. “I was shouting at you to help me and you just kept walking! And then I tell you to duck and you almost got yourself killed because you never want to listen to anything I say!”

Lance bowed his head slightly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you,” Lance told Keith. It was the truth but Keith didn’t know that.

“You didn’t hear me? How did you not hear me? I was standing right next to you!” Keith shot back. His eyebrows were twisted together in fury.

Lance’s mouth dropped on the corner. “I didn’t okay? I said sorry.”

Keith’s mouth tightened. “Sorry isn’t going to save anything when you or someone else gets hurt because you never listen to anybody! You always have to do your own thing. You just ignore and talk over them.”

“No, I don’t!” Lance argued back. Somehow they constantly found themselves squabbling with each other about something.

“Uh, yes, you do,” Keith complained. “You always have something to say back or your own ideas. You never shut up for two seconds, you always have to be talking or arguing with me. I think you just like the sound of your own voice.”

Lance’s mouth fell open slightly in shock before twisting into a devilish smile and he let out a bitter laugh.

Keith’s eyes narrowed as he looked at Lance. “What?” He asked. Lance shook his head but Keith refused it. “What’s so funny?” He demanded.

“Nothing. You. What you just said,” Lance said simply.

“What? That you like the sound of your own voice too much?” Keith asked. Lance nodded still smiling slightly. “Am I wrong?” Keith questioned.

“Uh, yeah, you are,” Lance answered.

Keith raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah right,” Keith shot back sarcastically.

“Yes! Right!” Lance yelled back angrily.

Keith scoffed. “That’s such a lie!”

“No, it’s not!”

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Keith shouted back. Lance didn’t know how loud their voices were but he was sure it was loud enough for others to hear if they were anywhere near by.

“Because I’ve never even heard myself!” Lance snapped, giving Keith an evil glare.

Keith’s face twisted in confusion. “What? What does that even mean?”

“It means I’ve never heard my own voice. It means I’ve never heard your voice, it means I’ve never heard Hunks voice, or Shiro’s voice, or Pidge’s, or Corans, or my mom’s!” Keith continued to stare blankly at Lance so he deadpanned. “I’m deaf.”

Keith’s face was a look that Lance didn’t know how to describe. A mix of confusion and concern and maybe even a hint of guilt. “W-what? You’re deaf? But- but how?”

“Uhh, I was born without being able to hear?” Lance snapped back sarcastically.

“But you’re…”

“A functioning member of society? A normal human being? Wow, a deaf person can be those things, who would’ve thought!” Lance grumbled. He hated when people said things like that. Being deaf didn’t mean you couldn’t do anything. It just meant everything was a challenge in its own way. It meant that he experienced things differently than other people but not less than them.

Keith stuttered. “N-no, that’s not what I meant! I just… how did you make it so far? How are you having this conversation with me?”

“I learned to read lips and how to speak.” Lance said shrugging. “It was hard but I got it. Plus I had help from Pidge and Hunk.”

“Wait- they knew?” Keith asked. Lance nodded. “Why didn’t you tell anyone else?”

Lance shrugged. “People see it as a disability. If I said I couldn’t hear then Shiro would be easier on me. People take pity on a deaf person and I really don’t want it. And I function well enough that it’s pretty unimportant. Plus, if I ever say something wrong or ask ‘what’ people just assume I’m dumb.”

Keith gulped. “So… so you didn’t duck…”

“…Because I didn’t hear you, yeah” Lance said finishing his sentence for him.

“I- I’m sorry, Lance. I didn’t know-“

Lance held up his hand as a sign to stop. “I already told you. That’s pity. I don’t want to hear it. Now let’s go to the bridge and see what’s going on, okay?”

Keith nodded and they walked together back to where everyone probably was. Keith opened his mouth to say something but then tapped on Lance’s shoulder to get his attention. Lance looked up at him. “Are you gunna tell-?”

“No. And can you please not tell anyone else? I don’t want anyone knowing,” Lance said firmly.

Keith nodded and paused for a second, thinking, then spoke again. “Maybe you should tell them. It might make it easier for us to communicate if everyone knows?” He offered.

Lance shook his head. “No,” he said but then he froze as he thought. “Well… Maybe. Just not right now. I’ll figure out a way to tell the others with out freaking them out, okay?”

Keith smiled and nodded and they walked into the Bridge were everyone was talking as Pidge and Hunk continued to bang desperately on the console that didn’t seem to be functioning properly.


	2. A Sign or Two Can't Be Hard to Learn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith convinces Lance to teach him some sign language.

Lance walked aimlessly down the hallway, unsure of where to go or what to do. It was a fairly slow day of fighting the evil Emperor Zarkon and everyone was off doing their own things. And once again, Lance felt like he didn’t have a thing. He felt like he had nothing to do or to contribute to the team. He thought that maybe he should figure out his own talent. Something that would prove he was needed. Like the way Pidge was a Tech Wiz or Hunk was an amazing cook and overall amazing friend. He just needed something that made him stand out- even just slightly.

Feeling desperate and alone Lance slumped against the wall. He didn’t know if anyone was around but he assumed he was no where near anyone. They were off being helpful while Lance was sitting here holding the team back like always.

Maybe he would have a thing if he wouldn’t have been deaf. He had spent so much of his time trying to overcome- or learn to live with- being deaf. He had learned sign language and struggled to read lips and talk on his own. All that time spent learning how to function like everyone else took away his time to discover talents and create hobbies. If he just wouldn’t have been born deaf-

No. Lance cut his thoughts off. He had been over this in his head too many times to remember. He had agreed with himself and with his mom that he wouldn’t think like that. Being deaf was not a disadvantage. It helped him become who he was today. He learned skills most other people don’t know. He had to stop selling himself short. If he wanted a hobby- wanted his own talent- then he would make one. He would figure one out and work on it. Now he only had to decide what to try.

Maybe he could try close hand combat. But Keith already had that on lockdown. He thought about practicing on being a better pilot but Keith and Shiro where both far better than him. Maybe he could build something or- or… or what? He wasn’t sure. There was nothing useful left for him to do. Sure, he could shoot from far away and had good aim but that didn’t come in handy far as often as all the other talents did. He just wished he had a thing.

Lance lowered his head into his hands. He felt his eyes sting as tears started to prick the edges of his tear ducts. No, he couldn’t cry, no, he promised he would stop feeling sorry for himself. He couldn’t help it. The tears started to slowly fall down his face and onto the floor. He stayed there for a couple minutes trying to calm himself down when he felt some vibrations through the floor.

He wiped his face quickly and looked up to see Keith walking towards him. Keith smiled and waved. His mouth moved but he was too far for Lance to understand what he was saying. He assumed it was somewhere along the line of “Hey, Lance”.

Lance stood up and waved down at Keith. Keith walked up to him. “What are you doing sitting here alone?” Keith asked Lance with a conscerned look.

Lance shrugged. “I dunno, just thinking and stuff. What are you up to?”

“Just finished helping Shiro and Allura out with planning a mission. I was thinking about going to train a bit,” Keith said. Lance nodded but his eyebrows folded together, his mind elsewhere. Ever since he told Keith about him being deaf Keith tended to over pronounce things with his mouth. His lips formed his ‘O’s stronger than necessary and he seemed to linger on every syllable. It frustrated Lance. Keith was clearly changing his speech to make sure Lance could understand him better but it only angered him. He didn’t need him to change, if anything, it only made it worse.

Keith seemed to notice Lance’s upset expression. “What?” He asked.

“You,” Lance answered simply. “You changed the way you pronounce things when you talk to me. You over exaggerate your words. You know you don’t have to do that, right?”

Keith’s eyes widened slightly as he lowered his head ashamed. “Sorry, it’s kind of a subconscious thing. I don’t really mean to…”

Lance shook his head. “It’s fine, you’ll get used to it,” he told Keith but deep down he knew this was exactly why he didn’t want to tell anyone he was deaf.

Keith’s head shot up suddenly, a tiny yet hopeful smile on his face. Lance shot him a questionable glance before he spoke. “You know… I’ve been thinking and… well, I think it’d be pretty cool if you taught me sign language. That way I could learn to communicate with you better and in different ways.”

Lance shifted on his feet as he thought through the idea. Would it be a good idea? Should he bother?

“Please?” Keith asked with a slightly bigger smile. It was rare to see Keith smile so he clearly really wanted to do this for whatever reason.

Lance grimaced. “Fine,” he muttered as he gave in. Keith beamed at his response. “Let’s go to my room, I’ll teach you there.”

They walked together over to Lance’s room. The door opened and they both took a seat on the bead facing each other. Lance nodded. “Okay, lets start with the basics.” The first thing Lance did was tell him the rules of sign language: always sign with your dominant hand at about neck level unless it needs to be moved, don’t bounce your hand, make sure your hand is facing forward unless the sign requires it to face a different way, and always use facial expressions to show what type of emotion you want to emit while signing.

Once Keith understood that, Lance went on to show him the alphabet. They went one letter at a time, Lance demonstrating and Keith attempting to copy his sign. Lance instructed him on how to fix his hand so it was in the right place. After about 20 minutes Keith knew the whole alphabet and could slowly sign his own name.

“You did it!” Lance said as he signed his words. Keith beamed proudly at his own accomplishment at understanding even a small part of another language, understanding a part of Lance’s life. Keith went on to practice signing other words, determined and eager to get better at it and learn new things.

Lance smiled as he watched the other boy attempt to get faster and spell out other words. Maybe Keith knowing wouldn’t be so bad after all.


End file.
